My friend Johnny said since I'm unemployed, I should start blogging more frequently (so please direct your hate mail in his direction). I took it as a personal challenge, because I really don't think I have that much to say weekly in a blog, but we'll give it a shot. There is literally nothing else going on.
Usually I save my arts recommendations for the end of the year, but now you'll get the chance to ignore them monthly. I know I'm always looking for stuff to enjoy, especially in these times of isolation, so I thought I'd share some things I loved and, more entertainingly, hated.
Musts
Watch: Unsolved Mysteries
For: Love of the Spooky, Losing Sleep (in a good way)
Platform: Netflix
This show used to terrify me as a child, and, I'm happy to report, it still does. When I was six or seven, I had to sleep with my parents because there was an episode on Noah's flood, and I was sure that it would rain for 40 days and kill us all. You know, normal childhood terrors about a vengeful God.
The series is six stories of strange incidents (with more coming next month!) and investigators and families trying to figure them out. You can watch them in any order – I actually super enjoyed the UFO epsiode (#4) and the Missing Witness one (#5). UFO was fascinating in terms of the paranormal, and Missing Witness was just absolutely bonkers.
Watch: Ducktales (2017)
For: Inner Child, LMAO'ing
Platform: Disney+
I loved Ducktales as a kid (I… just realized this list is v nostalgic… it appears someone is regressing into their past to find happiness in the present…) – the video game was one of my favorites of all time, and the show was just a fun weekly adventure.
The new one… OMG. Like, the sense of humor is dead on for me. They have made all the nephews (Huey, Dewey, and Louie) individualized with unique traits, and Flintheart Glomgold is literally the funniest character I've seen on TV since Lucille Bluth. This clip of Flintheart creating a sock puppet son to steal party favors at a rich kid's birthday party pretty much sums it all up.
Listen: Folklore
For: Dreamy Afternoons
Platform: Spotify, Apple Music
Yeah… I know. I love T Swift. Everyone knows I love T Swift, but, while I couldn't really tell people to stan reputation or Lover, Folklore is legit an amazing evolution for a really talented artist. She digs into new emotions, leans into her storytelling songwriting strengths, and just makes nice, placid bops. Did I have a weird 2-hour cry and listen in the car session to epiphany? Correct. Did I make Ernesto's "ears bleed" (truly a direct quote) listening to the 1 on repeat in the shower for a week? Yes.
Bonus: The lower tempo jams makes for great listening while you stare out the window and wonder what happened to your life – if you're in that kind of 2020/ennui/COVID-19 state.
Maybes
Read: Dune
For: Pensive, epic sci-fi moments
Platform: Book, Library, Kindle
This book isn't for everyone. I had my editor hat on for the first 250 pages and was like "Why… is… this… so long?" The characters aren't super realistic, the pacing is odd, but the world-building and imagination is A+. It took me about 3 weeks to read the book – 2.5 for the first 250 pages and then literally 3 days for the other 350. I was indifferent when I finished, but it has stuck with me vividly for the last month. I'm very excited for the movie in December.
Watch: Hannibal
For: Murder, Blood, Incoherent character development
Platform: Netflix
This show was a rollercoaster for me. The first 4 episodes I was viewing it as a comedy (see Freddie Lounds, the magical reporter, who is always on every crime scene, also Will Graham's Xerox powers that take him back in time), but once the overarching plot got started, I was in… for a bit.
It's a shock-horror piece throughout, so if you have a weak stomach, don't start it. Honestly, I would say one-half of season 1 and ¾ of season 2 are enjoyable. Season 3 is just a trainwreck (aside from Gillian Anderson #praiseher), and the character jumps to move the plot along are wild.
Nos
Watch: Sharp Objects
For: People who want their soul crushed in hour 8 of an 8-hour series
Platform: HBO
Ooof. I was just mad at this show. The acting: superb. The direction: amazing. Production design: gorgeous. The ending: Da f&%k?!!!
Imagine a show that is 7 episodes of A-grade story and filmmaking and then you get to the final episode and it – you know what? Just think of Game of Thrones. The best thing I can compare this to is starting out a series that's at True Detective-level of good and the finale literally being Riverdale crash-and-burn chaos. You could literally hear a toilet flush as character development was defecated by the story team and then the bizarre exclamation point on the series in the final moment was… at best, a shock for the sake of a shock, at worst, the story team throwing their story excrement at your face in the final moment. I have no idea if the book was different but… man, I was Catholic-mother disappointed in this mess.
Watch: Drunk Parents
For: I… don't even know.
Platform: Netflix
Ernesto turned this on and, to be fair, I was skeptical from the get-go (although, I absolutely love Salma Hayek). We watched for roughly 30 minutes, which resulted in about 20 minutes of cringing. The one funny scene was Salma (obvs) having a meltdown in a grocery story which, of course, last about 5 minutes longer than it should have. There are amazing ways to do silly comedies (see: Eurovision… probs will mention that next month) and then there's this. Maybe they can do a Sharp Drunk Parents crossover and really run both franchises into the ground.
tl;dr - Watch Ducktales.